Phew!

So.

Um.

Been super busy.

The county I live in has been making me go to a career planning workshop. We just call it Job Club. It's a lot of fun, surprisingly.

Funny thing is, I actually got a job now.

Yeah, that's right, Tasha has a job. And so does James.

^_^

Thanks to my amazing ability to write resumes.

Shit you not.

So, we are now tech support. :3

$10.75/hr 40hr/wk permanent position.

FUCK YEEEAAAH!!

We start next Monday. I'm so excited! They have video game contests every week, an arcade, ping pong tables, and a guy who comes in every couple weeks dressed up like Doctor Who.

Oh, I bought red Chucks like the 10th Doctor, for shits and giggles, and wore them to my interview.

The manager interviewing me loved them. :3

So I've been pretty busy. And this next week will be just as busy.

I BOUGHT A CAR!

2002 Dodge Intrepid.

Sadly, the alternator crapped out, but I got a new one and my uncle is putting it in for me. <3

Mom's super mad, though, so she's gonna try and get the guy who sold it to me to pay for the cost of repairs. The alternator isn't the only thing that went out. So did my rear brakes and rotors. It had a tranny leak. One of the catalytic converters is wonky. The back tires were bald.

It's cost me nearly $700 to fix what I could, and that's not even everything. There's still another $400+ left in repairs.

And I bought this car the Friday before last. Was that the 1st ? I don't remember.

Danny's got a nasty cold, too. :( Runny stuffy nose, green boogies, and a mucousy cough. Took him in today, but the doc says it's a virus and has to run its course. :/

Ah well.

Hopefully I'll have time to actually update again, so I can keep this blog going. Been keeping up with MH and EMH, both a lot of fun (Taco watches them with me, she screams any time the camera moves quickly).

I gotta get back to helping my uncle put the tensioner pulley back on my car. I promise I'm not dead or don't care about you guys! Just been busy!

Later kids.

Twelfth Fear: The Convocation

So I'm hoping I can get this done without waking Danny. He's been pretty persnickety about lights at night lately, and I'm not entirely sure how to dim down the monitor.

Laptops confuddle me.

So...

Yeah...

Life's been pretty crazy lately.

Let me sum up a few things quick:

• James is no longer with Anna. She had the balls to ask if his son was more important than her. He immediately replied with an obvious Yes, followed by a swift Fuck You for even asking such a crude question.
• We're looking into moving back in together. One, it'll be easier for him to feel he has a purpose if he watches Danny while I work; two, I won't be so terrified with having to put Danny in daycare; and three, if we're in the same household, maybe he can get help from the county to get a job, too. We're not sure about that just yet, I need to talk to my employment counselor about what we'd need to do to get him the help he needs.
• I got my taxes filed, and will be getting just under $6k! Holy cow! :D That'll really help out! I want to pay off my student loan right away so I can get back into school, then buy a cheap car (my dad will put me under his ins. again), then keep a nestegg for when I finally move out.
• I need to get on the list for Section 8/subsidy housing ASAP. I love my aunt, I do, but I just got in another big fight with my uncle and I'm tired of his crap. Though, she says she's proud of me for actually sticking up for myself this time, and calling him out on being rude and hurtful. We've made up, and he apologized, but still. These screaming matches are getting ridiculous.
• My birthday was alright, got pretty drunk on my tequila, James decided not to drink with me. Tequila doesn't sit well in his system; his body doesn't absorb it, so he either has to puke it out or he stays the same level of drunk because it won't leave his stomach. Weird, right?
• I LEARNED HOW TO CROCHET AND I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR IT. I made Danny a pair of slippers yesterday, and they fit so nice. :3 I should put a drawstring on them, though; they tend to fall off his (lack of) ankles, and I want him to be able to keep them on through his wiggling at night.

I think that's it. I CAN FINALLY DO ANOTHER FEAR POST! OH JOY!

The Convocation

The Storm, The Flock, Thunderbirds, Ziz, Roc, FEATHERED, PRE13

Description:

So, the Convocation is kind of an interesting fear. I don't find it particularly scary, but I don't think birds are scary in the least. I mean, what can they do to you that a rifle can't do to them? o_O

I like to hunt. I'm a damn good shot. Hunting birds isn't hard. Birds aren't scary.

But I guess some people find them scary, so Tada! Convocation1

The Convocation is a ginormous flock of black bird things. They look like seriously giant birds, black as night, and when they fly, their wings generate electricity and thunder, almost like a storm.

I guess I don't really know a whole lot about this Fear, there aren't a lot of accounts on it other than an "urban legend" of the Witch of Gatlinburg. When the Convocation takes a person, they become a host of sorts, called a Nest. The birds basically hollow out a body and live inside it, controlling it and whatnot. When they want to come out, they'll either make a slice on body they can fly out of, or they'll fly out of the mouth.

This Fear doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, the more I think about it.

BUT IT DOES HAVE A FOS! :O

Fortress of Solitude: The Bleak Shore

Well, okay, this FOS isn't really too interesting.

It's a giant shoreline filled with black sand, I would assume on an ocean. There's a constant storm on the horizon. I guess their Nests use it to travel? I dunno exatly.

Like I said, it's not really that cool. :/

I don't know how they choose their victims, since again, there aren't a lot of reports to go by, but I've never heard of anyone surviving them. I mean, they either peck the flesh from your bones or turn you into a Nest. I've read somewhere that they can speak, and they'll give you the choice of either being a Nest or lunch, but that's only in one place. So who knows?

Thunder is an ominous sound, no?

Sorry if this is kind of short, there really isn't a lot of information on this Fear to go by.

Let's see, what else is new...

Um.

Oh, we have a date for Danny's baptism. Have I talked about that yet with y'all? April 7th at noon. I need to get some paperwork printed out and filled out and mailed out for that. I just got done with the paperwork needed for childcare assistance, gonna mail that in to my financial worker asap. Just sent an email to my employment counselor about school and what she thinks I should do and if my return's going to affect my assistance at all. I hope not, that'd be so freaking shitty...

I'd have more to talk about, but... I really want to cuddle my Danny boy tonight. My uncle decided today to verbally attack me, and I always get so drained and depressed afterwards. I mean, after he calmed down he apologized, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. I understand his concerns, and to be fair, if he'd DISCUSS things with me, I'd be much more receptive to them, but screaming them at me like I'm a fucking moron doesn't exactly leave me listening to a work he says. To my ears, it's pretty much "BLAHBLAHBLAH I AM AN ASSHOLE AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT ANYBODY THINKS BECAUSE I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG I HAVE BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN YOU SO I MUST KNOW SO MUCH MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW!" Which is a complete crock of crap.

Then he started screaming about how he doesn't want me around anymore and how he thinks I'm a lazy, terrible mother because, instead of saying Foot to Danny, I say Footies, and instead of Teeth I say Teefers. Y'know, little baby words that children say that we think are cute. He thinks he knows so much more about this stuff because he gets parenting emails and joined a forum.

>_> Right. And yet when I use the internet as a resource for argument, I get my butt chewed?

I don't have time for his bullshit. Or patience. My anxiety's still pretty bad, even after being on prozac for nearly a month. My aunt thinks the psychiatrist will try upping my dose, but... Ugh, I have such an aversion to mental medications, it's like admitting to the world that I'm crazy. Then I have to get a diagnosis assessment from her to send to my employment counselor; when you go through a welfare-to-work program, they make you fill out a mental health screening thingy. When I was done, Bao, my counselor, was like, "Er... Are you seeing a therapist?? o_O" I told her I was, and a psychiatrist, and I'd just started medication. So she asked if I could get verification from them both on what they think about me working and what I should be able to handle. We'l see how that goes.

... Y'know, I took my sleep med almost 2 hours ago, and I'm still awake. A little disoriented, but still awake. I think it's time I logged off and got some shut-eye with my baby boy. I miss cuddling with him. <3

Night everybody. I missed writing for you all!

Day After Crazy Weekend!

Hello! I have returned to a computer! :D

Which is good, I hate trying to type on my iPod.

My thumbs are stupid, and have a hard time typing on it.

Yet I want an iPhone? xD

The weekend was fun, though. I mean, it could have been better, but it could have been much worse.

I wanted to clarify a little bit about James.

So, the reason he didn't respond to my message: he thought I was being snarky about not wanting to be FB friends. Which, y'know, I guess I kind of was, but I was being honest nonetheless.

We talked, a lot, about everything that went wrong during the pregnancy and since. And he really wanted me to make it clear on here that he still loves me, and he will always love me, even when I get mad and we stop talking and stuff. He's sick and tired of his fiance, Anna, telling him how to interact with me. Our friendship was perfect before she stuck her nose in it, which, I learned, happened much sooner than I thought it did. He misses his best friend, and the only person who's ever made him actually feel good about himself.

I FIND THAT TO BE A RECURRING THEME AMONG THE MEN IN MY LIFE.

... And the sex was good. ^w^

I can't help myself!

I'm sorry!

He's just... so damn good at it! xD

There's a reason we had a kid together, y'know. Other than lack of protection during Tequila Rock Band.

I like tequila... :3

So, yeah. We're no longer fighting. And I guess we're technically cheating on Anna.

I'm okay with that.

Oh, yeah, James has always been a cheater. He's pretty much a nymphomaniac.

I'm quite serious about that.

It never bothered me, because I knew about it ahead of time and frankly, I'm not a whole lot better on that front. I mean, I can NOT cheat, but I have a hard time staying committed. Y'know, bad past and whatnot. I'm kind of a commitment-phobe. That's why I don't mind James' cheating.

Honestly, we've always had such an open relationship, it's just never been an issue between us.

Take that as you will, I don't care much what you think about it. We're finally happy again, and that's what counts.

My aunt made a comment on New Year's, saying that the last year was so bad for me, this new one just has to get better.

^w^ She was so right!

I'm finally happy.

I have my best friend back, Danny has his daddy again, everybody still hates Anna, I met Jordan (<3), I'm getting my ducks in a row...

Now to get over my fear of being away from Danny, and I'll be able to work again.

I just want a part-time job. Maybe waitressing? I can do that. I have before. And, once I have a car, I know the Applebee's by Gizmo's place is hiring. Then I could have him babysit!

OH MY GOD THAT COULD ACTUALLY WORK!!! :O

I just got excited. :3

I should run this by Giz, see what he thinks. ^w^

Anyway, everyone loved the cake I made.

Never made a double layered cake before.

Apparently I'm an awesome baker/cook. :D

That also makes me happy.

Oh man, I'm just so fucking happy, it's ridiculous!

My plan for the day here is to get all our laundry done (I'm washing sheets, too, so it'll take longer), eat that last slice of birthday cake (IT IS SO FUCKING DELICIOUS!!!), draw that picture I planned for Jordan, and write a Fear post.

I think we'll do The Convocation. That one's pretty creepy. :3

Alrighty kids, I've got things to get done. Will post later.

SIDE NOTE! I have a Tumblr now, that I can easily update from my iPod. It will be filled with random thought bubbles, because I'm cool like that. If you're more interested in reading my crazy, it's here. I'm gonna try and tone down the more personal stuff on here by putting it there. I don't know how many people are rightfully interested in anything I have to say, but eh. What the hell, yeah?

In the meantime... I made a pizza! :D

Because I Want To Smile

I love those hilarious eCards on Facebook.

Some of them fit me so well, I laugh for a good 10 minutes after reading them.

Others, I wish I could dedicate to Anna or James, but I have neither of them on my Friends list and my privacy settings are set so they can't see anything I post or say or whatever.

So, I have decided to share a few here. If only to make myself giggle. Fuck you, my opinion>your give-a-shit. :D

I would like to dedicate this one to Anna. Because she's a c-nt. :D

Or at least, I will on Wednesday. :3

Hahaha, yeah. :')

And this one is dedicated to James.

AND THIS ONE IS FOR JORDAN. <3

Once again, dedicated to Anna.

This one's for my mother, and her family.

AND THIS ONE IS DEDICATED TO ME. BECAUSE FUCK YOU, I CAN OUTDRINK ALL YOU PUSSIES.

Another one for James.

And another. For he is a manwhore. Did I fail to mention that?

YES.

ALSO YES.

This, as well, is for Anna.

You bet your sweet ass my balls are bigger.

James again.

And the coup de grace...

FUCKING YES.

Okay. I'm done spamming silly pictures now. Go back to your daily routine, minions! >D

My Bad, Guys

Sorry, for the bazillionth time.

I forgot to do my Fear post. ^_^;

I was going to! I really was! And then I got distracted by a baby.

>_>; (Now with crayola updates!)

I don't know what to say.

I mean, I do, but I don't know what words to use to explain what I want to say.

I guess I'm sorry for the flip-out.

Never said I was perfect, y'know.

Far from it, to be fair.

But I suppose it was pretty ridiculous, looking back on what I wrote.

Though I don't remember that last post with all the no's. o_O

Doc Visit

So Danny had his appointment with the orthotist today.

That's a doctor who like... ... Er, fuck, they give you like, prosthetics and shit? I don't even know, I'd have to look it up and I'm lazy.

I just know she gave him his helmet.

We went from 10 mm difference to 5. :D

MAJORLY HUGE IMPROVEMENT!!!

I Think I Need a Hobby

I have decided.

To keep myself preoccupied, I am going to plan out and write/post a Fearblog! :D

Le Sad Face!

T_________________T

I finished Rapture!!

OMG SUPER SAD RIGHT NOW!

And I don't have any color crayons or paper...

Phew...

So...

After going to bed last night, Danny pseudo woke up. Like, he'd kind of wake up a little, turn to look at me with the saddest doe-eyed face, whimper a bit, and fall back asleep. This went on for about an hour before I gave in and brought him in bed with me.

It continued for another hour, with him rolling over, grabbing my hand in his and holding it up to his face.

D'awwww...

Hate to Break It to You

Danny's definitely got something.

After his final diaper change for the evening, where we get his jammies on, I found little red bumps.

>_>

Which Fear Next?

Good morning everyone.

Danny didn't wake up at 3 again, but because I had to stay up so late doing laundry, I couldn't fall asleep til about 1:30. He woke up at about 6:30, in turn waking me up and giving me a pounding migraine.

This tends to be a recurring thing with me.

So I got him changed, grabbed his sippy, and since he was still rubbing his eyes like he didn't want to wake up yet, I put him back down in his crib, turned off the lights, and played his lullaby book.

And then he screamed bloody murder for about 10 minutes.

Holy Freaking Oh My God

o__________o;

Um...

So...

Today has been a day from hell.

Seriously.

Bed Time

Just wanted to do a quick post before I have to go to bed.

...

Yeah, I'm 22 years old, living with my aunt and uncle, and they've instilled a bedtime.

¬_¬ I do indeed realize how ridiculous this is.

Ninth Fear: The Blind Man

So, SOMEBODY decided to be an amazing distraction yesterday. Sorry for the no-post. *coughJORDANcough* :D

Mini Post

Quick little update here.

HI EVERYONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR! YAY 2013!

... I feel old. o_o;

So I spent NYE with Danny's dad's fam, which was awesome. Got to have a few drinks, also awesome. Learned James almost broke up with Anna.

Nearly awesome, but was averted. :/

She's giving him a month to find a job.

Up in BFE.

Fuckin' retards, there are no jobs up there... >_<

Taco and I watched all of Marble Hornets' videos so far.

Thought we were gonna shit our pants. xD

Danny had a BLAST with his grandparents, and they love spending time with him. :3

We got home this morning. Sad, because I'm so tired of my uncle's brand of crazy I could puke, but we were almost out of Danny foods. Not a good thing. And I needed clean laundry.

We'll be back there in two weeks, anyway, so no big deal.

I GOT TO PLAY ME SOME ZELDA: SKYWARD SWORD ZOMG AWESOMESAUCE! <3

Gonna do a post on the Blind Man after Danny wakes up from his nap.

I had read all of the stories on this blog, and was super sad when I'd reached the end, BUT NOW THERE ARE MORE AND I CAN READ AGAIN! ... Seriously, I started reading the American Academy of Pediatric's "Your Baby's First Year" while NCIS was on in the background.

._. I Have No Life.

...

I think that's it! I got my AIM downloaded onto this desktop, Skype's finally working without crashing like a mofo, and Danny should be up in the next half hour.

I really missed you guys. I know I say this a lot, but I do!

^_~v

Yay!

Oh my God.

I FINALLY HAVE A DAY TO MYSELF!

... Well, as much to myself as I can with an 11 month old.

I. Am. Super. Soz.

This is my way of saying I'm sorry for being absent the last few days. I explain it here.

Pardon the blackness, I thought I'd try to get a good view with the moon out and stuff, but the moon was like NUUUUUUUUU.

**back**

In an attempt to apologize for my absence, I made a video. :3

But the computer here, it doesn't like me.

Says there's not enough space to upload a video from my snazzy new camera to the computer.

I'm in the middle of fixing this problem now.

BUT THERE WILL BE A VIDEO! Even if I have to put it on YouTube, I will get it up for y'all.

Give me a few hours...

Ayy-Eff-Kay

Okay, just wanted to once more say I'm sorry for the lack of a research post. I promise to get a draft written while I'm gone, so I can post it right away Sunday night. Danny and I are almost ready to go, and my mom should be here soon. There's no internet at her boyfriend's place, and I'm not going to sit on it while at my aunt's. That's just rude, going to see family and then just sitting on the internet. I'm more polite than that.