Phew!

So.

Um.

Been super busy.

The county I live in has been making me go to a career planning workshop. We just call it Job Club. It's a lot of fun, surprisingly.

Funny thing is, I actually got a job now.

Yeah, that's right, Tasha has a job. And so does James.

^_^

Thanks to my amazing ability to write resumes.

Shit you not.

So, we are now tech support. :3

$10.75/hr 40hr/wk permanent position.

FUCK YEEEAAAH!!

We start next Monday. I'm so excited! They have video game contests every week, an arcade, ping pong tables, and a guy who comes in every couple weeks dressed up like Doctor Who.

Oh, I bought red Chucks like the 10th Doctor, for shits and giggles, and wore them to my interview.

The manager interviewing me loved them. :3

So I've been pretty busy. And this next week will be just as busy.

I BOUGHT A CAR!

2002 Dodge Intrepid.

Sadly, the alternator crapped out, but I got a new one and my uncle is putting it in for me. <3

Mom's super mad, though, so she's gonna try and get the guy who sold it to me to pay for the cost of repairs. The alternator isn't the only thing that went out. So did my rear brakes and rotors. It had a tranny leak. One of the catalytic converters is wonky. The back tires were bald.

It's cost me nearly $700 to fix what I could, and that's not even everything. There's still another $400+ left in repairs.

And I bought this car the Friday before last. Was that the 1st ? I don't remember.

Danny's got a nasty cold, too. :( Runny stuffy nose, green boogies, and a mucousy cough. Took him in today, but the doc says it's a virus and has to run its course. :/

Ah well.

Hopefully I'll have time to actually update again, so I can keep this blog going. Been keeping up with MH and EMH, both a lot of fun (Taco watches them with me, she screams any time the camera moves quickly).

I gotta get back to helping my uncle put the tensioner pulley back on my car. I promise I'm not dead or don't care about you guys! Just been busy!

Later kids.

Another Test?

Okay, so I got a new iPod after getting my tax return. I got the Blogger app, so I wanted to test it before I made a post.

Testing.

Is it working?

... New things make me feel dumb... Until I master them. And then I'm like FUCK YEAH I'M AWESOME! :3

Resume

So today I spent about 2.5 hours working on my resume.

._.

I want to kill it with fire...

Not that it's bad, it's not. I just... It's so much business thinking... Like, you have to tailor it to whatever you're applying for.

I have a list of 12 jobs I'm interested; a couple teller positions, some receptionist/secretary posts, a special needs employment officer spot, a few customer service/sales slots... And one daycare job. Because why the fuck not?

I still need to look up daycare for Danny... I keep putting it off. I have the paperwork filled out and ready to go...

I can't bring myself to fax it in.

T_T

Ugh, I need sleep. It's way past this mama's bedtime, and I have a psychiatrist appointment at 10 we need to be ready for, and laundry to do, and some groceries to get that my aunt forgot to put on the list, and plans to make for Thursday... Fuckin' Valentine's Day... Double ugh!

Fuck it. Good night. Will try to do a fear post tomorrow night, if I need a break from resume shit. Which I will. Because fuck.

Twelfth Fear: The Convocation

So I'm hoping I can get this done without waking Danny. He's been pretty persnickety about lights at night lately, and I'm not entirely sure how to dim down the monitor.

Laptops confuddle me.

So...

Yeah...

Life's been pretty crazy lately.

Let me sum up a few things quick:

• James is no longer with Anna. She had the balls to ask if his son was more important than her. He immediately replied with an obvious Yes, followed by a swift Fuck You for even asking such a crude question.
• We're looking into moving back in together. One, it'll be easier for him to feel he has a purpose if he watches Danny while I work; two, I won't be so terrified with having to put Danny in daycare; and three, if we're in the same household, maybe he can get help from the county to get a job, too. We're not sure about that just yet, I need to talk to my employment counselor about what we'd need to do to get him the help he needs.
• I got my taxes filed, and will be getting just under $6k! Holy cow! :D That'll really help out! I want to pay off my student loan right away so I can get back into school, then buy a cheap car (my dad will put me under his ins. again), then keep a nestegg for when I finally move out.
• I need to get on the list for Section 8/subsidy housing ASAP. I love my aunt, I do, but I just got in another big fight with my uncle and I'm tired of his crap. Though, she says she's proud of me for actually sticking up for myself this time, and calling him out on being rude and hurtful. We've made up, and he apologized, but still. These screaming matches are getting ridiculous.
• My birthday was alright, got pretty drunk on my tequila, James decided not to drink with me. Tequila doesn't sit well in his system; his body doesn't absorb it, so he either has to puke it out or he stays the same level of drunk because it won't leave his stomach. Weird, right?
• I LEARNED HOW TO CROCHET AND I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR IT. I made Danny a pair of slippers yesterday, and they fit so nice. :3 I should put a drawstring on them, though; they tend to fall off his (lack of) ankles, and I want him to be able to keep them on through his wiggling at night.

I think that's it. I CAN FINALLY DO ANOTHER FEAR POST! OH JOY!

The Convocation

The Storm, The Flock, Thunderbirds, Ziz, Roc, FEATHERED, PRE13

Description:

So, the Convocation is kind of an interesting fear. I don't find it particularly scary, but I don't think birds are scary in the least. I mean, what can they do to you that a rifle can't do to them? o_O

I like to hunt. I'm a damn good shot. Hunting birds isn't hard. Birds aren't scary.

But I guess some people find them scary, so Tada! Convocation1

The Convocation is a ginormous flock of black bird things. They look like seriously giant birds, black as night, and when they fly, their wings generate electricity and thunder, almost like a storm.

I guess I don't really know a whole lot about this Fear, there aren't a lot of accounts on it other than an "urban legend" of the Witch of Gatlinburg. When the Convocation takes a person, they become a host of sorts, called a Nest. The birds basically hollow out a body and live inside it, controlling it and whatnot. When they want to come out, they'll either make a slice on body they can fly out of, or they'll fly out of the mouth.

This Fear doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, the more I think about it.

BUT IT DOES HAVE A FOS! :O

Fortress of Solitude: The Bleak Shore

Well, okay, this FOS isn't really too interesting.

It's a giant shoreline filled with black sand, I would assume on an ocean. There's a constant storm on the horizon. I guess their Nests use it to travel? I dunno exatly.

Like I said, it's not really that cool. :/

I don't know how they choose their victims, since again, there aren't a lot of reports to go by, but I've never heard of anyone surviving them. I mean, they either peck the flesh from your bones or turn you into a Nest. I've read somewhere that they can speak, and they'll give you the choice of either being a Nest or lunch, but that's only in one place. So who knows?

Thunder is an ominous sound, no?

Sorry if this is kind of short, there really isn't a lot of information on this Fear to go by.

Let's see, what else is new...

Um.

Oh, we have a date for Danny's baptism. Have I talked about that yet with y'all? April 7th at noon. I need to get some paperwork printed out and filled out and mailed out for that. I just got done with the paperwork needed for childcare assistance, gonna mail that in to my financial worker asap. Just sent an email to my employment counselor about school and what she thinks I should do and if my return's going to affect my assistance at all. I hope not, that'd be so freaking shitty...

I'd have more to talk about, but... I really want to cuddle my Danny boy tonight. My uncle decided today to verbally attack me, and I always get so drained and depressed afterwards. I mean, after he calmed down he apologized, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. I understand his concerns, and to be fair, if he'd DISCUSS things with me, I'd be much more receptive to them, but screaming them at me like I'm a fucking moron doesn't exactly leave me listening to a work he says. To my ears, it's pretty much "BLAHBLAHBLAH I AM AN ASSHOLE AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT ANYBODY THINKS BECAUSE I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG I HAVE BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN YOU SO I MUST KNOW SO MUCH MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW!" Which is a complete crock of crap.

Then he started screaming about how he doesn't want me around anymore and how he thinks I'm a lazy, terrible mother because, instead of saying Foot to Danny, I say Footies, and instead of Teeth I say Teefers. Y'know, little baby words that children say that we think are cute. He thinks he knows so much more about this stuff because he gets parenting emails and joined a forum.

>_> Right. And yet when I use the internet as a resource for argument, I get my butt chewed?

I don't have time for his bullshit. Or patience. My anxiety's still pretty bad, even after being on prozac for nearly a month. My aunt thinks the psychiatrist will try upping my dose, but... Ugh, I have such an aversion to mental medications, it's like admitting to the world that I'm crazy. Then I have to get a diagnosis assessment from her to send to my employment counselor; when you go through a welfare-to-work program, they make you fill out a mental health screening thingy. When I was done, Bao, my counselor, was like, "Er... Are you seeing a therapist?? o_O" I told her I was, and a psychiatrist, and I'd just started medication. So she asked if I could get verification from them both on what they think about me working and what I should be able to handle. We'l see how that goes.

... Y'know, I took my sleep med almost 2 hours ago, and I'm still awake. A little disoriented, but still awake. I think it's time I logged off and got some shut-eye with my baby boy. I miss cuddling with him. <3

Night everybody. I missed writing for you all!

Brain Overload

My uncle's brother decided to pay us a visit.

I've been playing host all fucking day.

On Thursdays, Danny and I have a playdate at the local ECLC (early childhood learning center). I missed the memo saying tonight's session was cancelled.

o_e

I've been running like a chicken with my head cut off all fucking day.

The reason I'm saying this is, I won't be doing a Fear post tonight, either. We have to get up early, take my aunt to work, go to a meeting with my employment counselor, go to a WIC meeting, pick up my aunt, make dinner, and at some point call my social worker and print off paperwork to send to the pastor doing Danny's baptism.

To be fair, I'm not extremely religious. I think, if you want to be something, that's fine, but it should be your choice.

I'm doing it because I don't want my mother to hold it against me.

I'm tough and shit, but that woman terrifies me to pieces.

Victim mentality.

So I'm getting it done. Besides, it'll mean a lot to James' sister Penny and my brother Mikey to be Danny's godparents. And it'll mean everybody will be together, and that's important to me.

Meh.

I AM HOPING AND PRAYING TOMORROW ISN'T TOO CRAZY. I don't know if my anxiety will let me handle it otherwise.

Oh.

Psychiatrist put me on liquid Prozac.

Did you know it comes in a liquid?

:D I can't swallow pills. Gag reflex goes nuts. Awesome.

It helps; I feel calmer, as long as my day is calm-ish. If it's crazy, I still get panic attacks. They're a little easier to handle, but they're still bad. :/

Danny has a molar.

THAT WAS FUN.

Two days of obscenely fussy baby, followed by 20 hours of sleep. O_o

And now the others are coming.

OH FUCKING JOY!

Um... What else...

Oh, I made Danny a scarf to match his hat and mittens! And it has tassles!!! Next I want to make a sweater, since it should be warming up soon. Then I told James I'd make him something, and I got some cute yarn to make myself a sweater.

Actually, I have a cute pattern for a sweater/tank top, so I'm probably going to make that. With a hood. I love hooded tops! :3

I need yarn for Danny's blanket. I couldn't find it at Walmart. :( I'll have to look again next month; I kinda squandered this month's cash. I got our necessities, then went shopping. For fun stuff. For me.

What? I rarely get stuff for myself that I'll actually USE. Usually I get a shirt, or pants, because I need them. I did get those crayons, and now I have crochet stuff.

It feels good to create again. :3 I used to make bead jewelry. Sold it and everything. But I gave it away in the move here. Besides, Danny can't choke on yarn. ... As long as I keep scraps out of his mouth. Learned that the hard way. o_o

I need sleep. It's nearly half past 10. I gotta set my alarm.

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I did mention January is a crazy month for me; always is. I always overbook myself, what with my birthday, and now Danny's birthday, and New Year's, and so on...

OH! Y'all missed my birthday!

It was last week, on Monday.

January 29th, 1990.

Happy birthday to me. :3

Okay, bed time. Night!

Yarn Ball

I have slight OCD.

Like, certain things MUST be clean, or organized a certain way, or done up just so.

... I bought yarn after Danny went to bed.

I'm stuck making yarn balls.

Also, I tried opening my laptop before doing this, but Danny instantly woke up and started shrieking.

Ah well.

So, Convocation tomorrow morning.

JUST WANTED TO KEEP Y'ALL POSTED SO YOU DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU. Cause I like you, internet. :3

Stuff Happened!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY THE LAST FEW WEEKS I COULD PUKE.

Danny's birthday, then had meetings with an employment counselor for the county, then therapy and psychiatry appointments, started meds for anxiety and insomnia, spent a week with James and his family for my birthday and Taco's birthday, learned to crochet, made a hat and mittens and a dice bag for D&D and a blanket for Danny, discovered My Little Pony, played an amazing new board game I can't remember the name of BUT I LOVED IT, got Danny's baptism planned, lost my iPod for a week...

I'm probably forgetting stuff, but fuck it. A lot of shit happened in a short amount of time.

BUT HI YES I EXIST I AM SO FUCKING SORRY LIFE IS RIDICULOUS I DID NOT FORGET YOU ALL I SWEAR I MISSED YOU!

^w^

I'll post tomorrow. Seriously, I got my laptop set up and nothing planned for the day, other than work on that blanket. It's not done yet. But it's super cute! :D

Ok, I'm typing from my iPod and I'm exhausted. We just got home from that week-long trip, so yeah. Phew.

I missed writing to you all!