I have slight OCD.
Like, certain things MUST be clean, or organized a certain way, or done up just so.
... I bought yarn after Danny went to bed.
I'm stuck making yarn balls.
Also, I tried opening my laptop before doing this, but Danny instantly woke up and started shrieking.
Ah well.
So, Convocation tomorrow morning.
JUST WANTED TO KEEP Y'ALL POSTED SO YOU DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU. Cause I like you, internet. :3
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Stuff Happened!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY THE LAST FEW WEEKS I COULD PUKE.
Danny's birthday, then had meetings with an employment counselor for the county, then therapy and psychiatry appointments, started meds for anxiety and insomnia, spent a week with James and his family for my birthday and Taco's birthday, learned to crochet, made a hat and mittens and a dice bag for D&D and a blanket for Danny, discovered My Little Pony, played an amazing new board game I can't remember the name of BUT I LOVED IT, got Danny's baptism planned, lost my iPod for a week...
I'm probably forgetting stuff, but fuck it. A lot of shit happened in a short amount of time.
BUT HI YES I EXIST I AM SO FUCKING SORRY LIFE IS RIDICULOUS I DID NOT FORGET YOU ALL I SWEAR I MISSED YOU!
^w^
I'll post tomorrow. Seriously, I got my laptop set up and nothing planned for the day, other than work on that blanket. It's not done yet. But it's super cute! :D
Ok, I'm typing from my iPod and I'm exhausted. We just got home from that week-long trip, so yeah. Phew.
I missed writing to you all!
Danny's birthday, then had meetings with an employment counselor for the county, then therapy and psychiatry appointments, started meds for anxiety and insomnia, spent a week with James and his family for my birthday and Taco's birthday, learned to crochet, made a hat and mittens and a dice bag for D&D and a blanket for Danny, discovered My Little Pony, played an amazing new board game I can't remember the name of BUT I LOVED IT, got Danny's baptism planned, lost my iPod for a week...
I'm probably forgetting stuff, but fuck it. A lot of shit happened in a short amount of time.
BUT HI YES I EXIST I AM SO FUCKING SORRY LIFE IS RIDICULOUS I DID NOT FORGET YOU ALL I SWEAR I MISSED YOU!
^w^
I'll post tomorrow. Seriously, I got my laptop set up and nothing planned for the day, other than work on that blanket. It's not done yet. But it's super cute! :D
Ok, I'm typing from my iPod and I'm exhausted. We just got home from that week-long trip, so yeah. Phew.
I missed writing to you all!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Hiding
Sorry for not posting. I got frustrated with a washing machine last night.
And I got chewed out for "hiding" in the basement, on the computer.
So today Danny and I are watching tv upstairs.
... Well, ok, I'M watching tv right now. He's napping. Watching Being Human (US) from the beginning, since I haven't seen it bur I like the newer episodes I've managed to catch.
I love Netflix, especially 'cause my dad pays for it. :3
So, yeah! After Danny goes to bed tonight, I can do a post on The Convocation. Until then, I'm chilling out on the couch. WITH NUTELLA COOKIES I MADE. :D
ALSO!!!
Jordan updated Rapture. Like, revamped quite a bit. If you haven't read it yet, do so. It's worth it. If you have, read it again, there are changes.
I have no complaints so far.
ALSO ALSO!!!
Tomorrow, after our doc appointments, Danny and I will be spending the night at Gizmo's, so we may be with James and have real family time.
I am bringing Tangled. :3
... And condoms. xD
Which reminds me, I have nothing... er... "nice" to wear.
I'm such a nervous wreck, I want to look... well, sexy, I guess, for a change. I want to... feel... pretty?
I mean, I know James thinks I'm pretty.
Hell, Jordan thinks I'm pretty, which really does sound nice to my ears (well, eyes), but gets garbled in my head.
...
Fuck, there was a point to this.
I WILL DO A FEAR POST TONIGHT. If not on a computer, then fuck it, I'll email it like I am this one.
Later guys.
And I got chewed out for "hiding" in the basement, on the computer.
So today Danny and I are watching tv upstairs.
... Well, ok, I'M watching tv right now. He's napping. Watching Being Human (US) from the beginning, since I haven't seen it bur I like the newer episodes I've managed to catch.
I love Netflix, especially 'cause my dad pays for it. :3
So, yeah! After Danny goes to bed tonight, I can do a post on The Convocation. Until then, I'm chilling out on the couch. WITH NUTELLA COOKIES I MADE. :D
ALSO!!!
Jordan updated Rapture. Like, revamped quite a bit. If you haven't read it yet, do so. It's worth it. If you have, read it again, there are changes.
I have no complaints so far.
ALSO ALSO!!!
Tomorrow, after our doc appointments, Danny and I will be spending the night at Gizmo's, so we may be with James and have real family time.
I am bringing Tangled. :3
... And condoms. xD
Which reminds me, I have nothing... er... "nice" to wear.
I'm such a nervous wreck, I want to look... well, sexy, I guess, for a change. I want to... feel... pretty?
I mean, I know James thinks I'm pretty.
Hell, Jordan thinks I'm pretty, which really does sound nice to my ears (well, eyes), but gets garbled in my head.
...
Fuck, there was a point to this.
I WILL DO A FEAR POST TONIGHT. If not on a computer, then fuck it, I'll email it like I am this one.
Later guys.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Day After Crazy Weekend!
Hello! I have returned to a computer! :D
Which is good, I hate trying to type on my iPod.
My thumbs are stupid, and have a hard time typing on it.
Yet I want an iPhone? xD
The weekend was fun, though. I mean, it could have been better, but it could have been much worse.
I wanted to clarify a little bit about James.
So, the reason he didn't respond to my message: he thought I was being snarky about not wanting to be FB friends. Which, y'know, I guess I kind of was, but I was being honest nonetheless.
We talked, a lot, about everything that went wrong during the pregnancy and since. And he really wanted me to make it clear on here that he still loves me, and he will always love me, even when I get mad and we stop talking and stuff. He's sick and tired of his fiance, Anna, telling him how to interact with me. Our friendship was perfect before she stuck her nose in it, which, I learned, happened much sooner than I thought it did. He misses his best friend, and the only person who's ever made him actually feel good about himself.
I FIND THAT TO BE A RECURRING THEME AMONG THE MEN IN MY LIFE.
... And the sex was good. ^w^
I can't help myself!
I'm sorry!
He's just... so damn good at it! xD
There's a reason we had a kid together, y'know. Other than lack of protection during Tequila Rock Band.
I like tequila... :3
So, yeah. We're no longer fighting. And I guess we're technically cheating on Anna.
I'm okay with that.
Oh, yeah, James has always been a cheater. He's pretty much a nymphomaniac.
I'm quite serious about that.
It never bothered me, because I knew about it ahead of time and frankly, I'm not a whole lot better on that front. I mean, I can NOT cheat, but I have a hard time staying committed. Y'know, bad past and whatnot. I'm kind of a commitment-phobe. That's why I don't mind James' cheating.
Honestly, we've always had such an open relationship, it's just never been an issue between us.
Take that as you will, I don't care much what you think about it. We're finally happy again, and that's what counts.
My aunt made a comment on New Year's, saying that the last year was so bad for me, this new one just has to get better.
^w^ She was so right!
I'm finally happy.
I have my best friend back, Danny has his daddy again, everybody still hates Anna, I met Jordan (<3), I'm getting my ducks in a row...
Now to get over my fear of being away from Danny, and I'll be able to work again.
I just want a part-time job. Maybe waitressing? I can do that. I have before. And, once I have a car, I know the Applebee's by Gizmo's place is hiring. Then I could have him babysit!
OH MY GOD THAT COULD ACTUALLY WORK!!! :O
I just got excited. :3
I should run this by Giz, see what he thinks. ^w^
Anyway, everyone loved the cake I made.
Never made a double layered cake before.
Apparently I'm an awesome baker/cook. :D
That also makes me happy.
Oh man, I'm just so fucking happy, it's ridiculous!
My plan for the day here is to get all our laundry done (I'm washing sheets, too, so it'll take longer), eat that last slice of birthday cake (IT IS SO FUCKING DELICIOUS!!!), draw that picture I planned for Jordan, and write a Fear post.
I think we'll do The Convocation. That one's pretty creepy. :3
Alrighty kids, I've got things to get done. Will post later.
SIDE NOTE! I have a Tumblr now, that I can easily update from my iPod. It will be filled with random thought bubbles, because I'm cool like that. If you're more interested in reading my crazy, it's here. I'm gonna try and tone down the more personal stuff on here by putting it there. I don't know how many people are rightfully interested in anything I have to say, but eh. What the hell, yeah?
In the meantime... I made a pizza! :D
Which is good, I hate trying to type on my iPod.
My thumbs are stupid, and have a hard time typing on it.
Yet I want an iPhone? xD
The weekend was fun, though. I mean, it could have been better, but it could have been much worse.
I wanted to clarify a little bit about James.
So, the reason he didn't respond to my message: he thought I was being snarky about not wanting to be FB friends. Which, y'know, I guess I kind of was, but I was being honest nonetheless.
We talked, a lot, about everything that went wrong during the pregnancy and since. And he really wanted me to make it clear on here that he still loves me, and he will always love me, even when I get mad and we stop talking and stuff. He's sick and tired of his fiance, Anna, telling him how to interact with me. Our friendship was perfect before she stuck her nose in it, which, I learned, happened much sooner than I thought it did. He misses his best friend, and the only person who's ever made him actually feel good about himself.
I FIND THAT TO BE A RECURRING THEME AMONG THE MEN IN MY LIFE.
... And the sex was good. ^w^
I can't help myself!
I'm sorry!
He's just... so damn good at it! xD
There's a reason we had a kid together, y'know. Other than lack of protection during Tequila Rock Band.
I like tequila... :3
So, yeah. We're no longer fighting. And I guess we're technically cheating on Anna.
I'm okay with that.
Oh, yeah, James has always been a cheater. He's pretty much a nymphomaniac.
I'm quite serious about that.
It never bothered me, because I knew about it ahead of time and frankly, I'm not a whole lot better on that front. I mean, I can NOT cheat, but I have a hard time staying committed. Y'know, bad past and whatnot. I'm kind of a commitment-phobe. That's why I don't mind James' cheating.
Honestly, we've always had such an open relationship, it's just never been an issue between us.
Take that as you will, I don't care much what you think about it. We're finally happy again, and that's what counts.
My aunt made a comment on New Year's, saying that the last year was so bad for me, this new one just has to get better.
^w^ She was so right!
I'm finally happy.
I have my best friend back, Danny has his daddy again, everybody still hates Anna, I met Jordan (<3), I'm getting my ducks in a row...
Now to get over my fear of being away from Danny, and I'll be able to work again.
I just want a part-time job. Maybe waitressing? I can do that. I have before. And, once I have a car, I know the Applebee's by Gizmo's place is hiring. Then I could have him babysit!
OH MY GOD THAT COULD ACTUALLY WORK!!! :O
I just got excited. :3
I should run this by Giz, see what he thinks. ^w^
Anyway, everyone loved the cake I made.
Never made a double layered cake before.
Apparently I'm an awesome baker/cook. :D
That also makes me happy.
Oh man, I'm just so fucking happy, it's ridiculous!
My plan for the day here is to get all our laundry done (I'm washing sheets, too, so it'll take longer), eat that last slice of birthday cake (IT IS SO FUCKING DELICIOUS!!!), draw that picture I planned for Jordan, and write a Fear post.
I think we'll do The Convocation. That one's pretty creepy. :3
Alrighty kids, I've got things to get done. Will post later.
SIDE NOTE! I have a Tumblr now, that I can easily update from my iPod. It will be filled with random thought bubbles, because I'm cool like that. If you're more interested in reading my crazy, it's here. I'm gonna try and tone down the more personal stuff on here by putting it there. I don't know how many people are rightfully interested in anything I have to say, but eh. What the hell, yeah?
In the meantime... I made a pizza! :D
Sunday, January 13, 2013
xD Oh my
Danny hit Send. xD
Oh well, I'm kinda done, I guess.
All I know is, I now have hardcore evil dirt on the c-ntbag Anna, and James doesn't even care that he's cheating on her. But he's always been one, I don't even care. I don't mind sharing too much, as long as I'm on top of the pile. :3
That sounds fucked up.
... It kind of is. xD
Oh well, I'm kinda done, I guess.
All I know is, I now have hardcore evil dirt on the c-ntbag Anna, and James doesn't even care that he's cheating on her. But he's always been one, I don't even care. I don't mind sharing too much, as long as I'm on top of the pile. :3
That sounds fucked up.
... It kind of is. xD
Greetings From My Email!
Just doing another quick update, so, y'know, you guys don't think I fell off the face of the planet or something.
TODAY IS MY BEAUTIFUL DANIEL RICHARD FINNEGAN'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!
Yeah, he has his dad's last name. It was my choice, fuck y'all.
So I baked a two-layered Funfetti call (white cake with sprinkles in the batter so the cake has little color dots in them), did the frosting, made a meat+cheese platter, devined a whole bag of grapes, wrapped all his presents, got the drinks ready, got our clothes set out for the party, and now I'm just relaxing a bit while he naps.
Gizmo's daughter's party was... okay.
We ended up staying the night, which was not my idea at all. But, James and I had a chance to sit down and really talk things out.
He missed me too.
Remember how I said we used to be best friends?
We get to be best friends again. :)
Though, he STILL won't let me kill Anna, even though I said Pretty Please. :P
We both got to sing Happy Birthday to our son.
^w^ I'm really happy about this.
He's staying at Gizmo's place for the next few weeks, and we've planned a bunch of stuff for the three of us to do as a family.
About damn time.
Oh.
So people on the Fear forums have been giving Jordan some flack about Rapture.
>\ Rawr, that's not nice at all.
I mean, constructive criticism isn't bad, but it sounded more like attacks.
I am very protective of my "kids," people.
And Jordan is mine. I claim him.
... Well, I'll be exceedingly protective of the boy, anyway. That came out wrong. xD
He is my friend. Is that more clear?
'Kay.
*sorry, party started at 3 and I forgot to hit Send**
Ah! That went surprisingly well!! ^w^
Everyone enjoyed the cracker platter thing and the grapes, and my cake was beyond perfect. :D Danny got lots of fun presents, mostly clothes (I requested this, he got so many toys for Christmas we don't have room for more!), my maternal grandpa came and gave us $75 in gift cards (one for me, one for Danny), and it was just a great afternoon all around. :3
I miss James already. Once everyone left, I felt super lonely again. :(
We both love Rock Band, you see...
:D Haha, that's not why. It's true, though! We played all our favorite songs, even Paradise By The Dashboard Light. <3<3<3 JORDAN! THAT SONG ROCKS, LISTEN TO IT!
But really, I miss my best friend.
... And sex. Missing sex hardcore right now.
WHAT?? I'm an adult, and apparently he's so sick of his fiancé he could puke. His words, not mine. And I'm still pretty, he wanted me to explain that he never thought I wasn't, he just doesn't find pregnant women SEXUALLY attractive.
I don't understand the difference, personally.
He wasn't terribly happy with my post about him, but he said he understood why I felt that way and I should've spoken up. I tend to internalize everything.
TODAY IS MY BEAUTIFUL DANIEL RICHARD FINNEGAN'S FIRST BIRTHDAY!
Yeah, he has his dad's last name. It was my choice, fuck y'all.
So I baked a two-layered Funfetti call (white cake with sprinkles in the batter so the cake has little color dots in them), did the frosting, made a meat+cheese platter, devined a whole bag of grapes, wrapped all his presents, got the drinks ready, got our clothes set out for the party, and now I'm just relaxing a bit while he naps.
Gizmo's daughter's party was... okay.
We ended up staying the night, which was not my idea at all. But, James and I had a chance to sit down and really talk things out.
He missed me too.
Remember how I said we used to be best friends?
We get to be best friends again. :)
Though, he STILL won't let me kill Anna, even though I said Pretty Please. :P
We both got to sing Happy Birthday to our son.
^w^ I'm really happy about this.
He's staying at Gizmo's place for the next few weeks, and we've planned a bunch of stuff for the three of us to do as a family.
About damn time.
Oh.
So people on the Fear forums have been giving Jordan some flack about Rapture.
>\ Rawr, that's not nice at all.
I mean, constructive criticism isn't bad, but it sounded more like attacks.
I am very protective of my "kids," people.
And Jordan is mine. I claim him.
... Well, I'll be exceedingly protective of the boy, anyway. That came out wrong. xD
He is my friend. Is that more clear?
'Kay.
*sorry, party started at 3 and I forgot to hit Send**
Ah! That went surprisingly well!! ^w^
Everyone enjoyed the cracker platter thing and the grapes, and my cake was beyond perfect. :D Danny got lots of fun presents, mostly clothes (I requested this, he got so many toys for Christmas we don't have room for more!), my maternal grandpa came and gave us $75 in gift cards (one for me, one for Danny), and it was just a great afternoon all around. :3
I miss James already. Once everyone left, I felt super lonely again. :(
We both love Rock Band, you see...
:D Haha, that's not why. It's true, though! We played all our favorite songs, even Paradise By The Dashboard Light. <3<3<3 JORDAN! THAT SONG ROCKS, LISTEN TO IT!
But really, I miss my best friend.
... And sex. Missing sex hardcore right now.
WHAT?? I'm an adult, and apparently he's so sick of his fiancé he could puke. His words, not mine. And I'm still pretty, he wanted me to explain that he never thought I wasn't, he just doesn't find pregnant women SEXUALLY attractive.
I don't understand the difference, personally.
He wasn't terribly happy with my post about him, but he said he understood why I felt that way and I should've spoken up. I tend to internalize everything.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
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