Eleventh Fear: The Quiet

GOT TO TALK TO JORDAN YAY! So glad he enjoyed his trip! He said Finland was gorgeous, Rappu (the girl he went to meet about the Rapture drawings) was fun and nice and stuff, and he got presents! Yay! Said he got some books, and these ones I hadn't heard of before? Moomins? I guess they're like... Trolls, or something? I'm not entirely sure, but they're pretty cute-looking creatures. :3 I'm gonna have to look into these books for Danny. I think he'd like the pictures, anyway.

And he liked my drawings! ^_^


We were chatting, and I guess I accidentally struck a nerve. :( I mean, I can kind of see how what I said wasn't exactly nice, but from an outsider's point of view (and because I can be ignorant as fuck sometimes) it didn't seem like it'd be when I typed it. But eh, I apologized for my ignorance, BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO MAN UP AND ADMIT WHEN THEY FUCK UP it's a tough lesson to learn, kids, but really, it should be a necessity. I feel really bad for getting him upset, though. I should've known better, I guess. It was kind of disrespectful in hindsight. Which I have 20/20 vision!

I'm sorry, again. I don't always think about how things can sound before I open my mouth/type and hit Enter. MY FINGERS ARE FASTER THAN MY BRAIN!

Still. My apologies.

Will admit, it was kind of sexy to see you stand up for yourself. Not gonna lie. <3

Moving on!

I was supposed to do this last night, but... Yeah, stuff happened. :D So here we go!

The Quiet
The Unmaking, The Silent Void, The Screaming Darkness, The Starless Night, Rest, The All-Consuming Void, ENDING, PRE 19

Description:
Think of space. Just think about it for a second.

How it's all... well, nothing.

I don't mean think of the stars, or the planets, or anything IN space.

I just want you to imagine space.

The absolute nothingness.

That's kind of what The Quiet is.

The Quiet is absolute nothingness.

Absolute nothingness that grows.

Absolute nothingness that consumes.

It starts out by erasing people. Literally erasing. They never existed. I mean, yeah, they existed, but now they don't. Not even the memory of them exists. They just never were. Then it erases places and objects and everything around you. Again, they existed, but now they don't. They never did. They never will.

This Fear's kind of hard to explain because of this.

I mean, it is and it isn't.

It's a hard concept to wrap your head around.

It doesn't have a body, it doesn't have thought, it doesn't have anything to it.

It's just... nothing.

Like space.

Hell, looking at it would probably drive you insane, how it is literally just nothing. When I think about it, it'd be like losing your vision. And your hearing. And your sense of smell. And all your other senses. It has no sense. It really is nothing.

I don't know how people fall prey to it, I personally think it's just random happenstance. And it has no FoS, since it's nothingness.

There really isn't a better word to describe The Quiet. Nothing is the perfect word for it. Absolute Nothing. And once Absolute Nothing grows around you, there's nothing you can do about it. You become Nothing. You never were. You never will be.

It kind of makes me think of The Blind Man and how he just takes your memories, leaving you with nothing to replace them. Except with The Quiet, it takes everything. Even you. And when you're gone, well, nobody will know because you never were. Everything you thought, everything you wrote or drew or created, everything about your very existence is nothing.

See, it really is hard to wrap your head around that, isn't it?

This Fear is beyond difficult to explain, if you haven't read any of the stories about it. Let me see if I can't link a few...

And When The Sky Was Opened This whole blog is about The Quiet.
brighter than a spoon: through the stars in their silence This specific entry shows it in the end.

I tried looking for more in the blogs I have Followed, but I can't find any. Not without digging more than my patience will allow.

But I would definitely read those two links, they're good examples for you. Especially that first one. Very well written, I loved it. :)

So, at around 6:30 Danny and I are going over to Gizmo's to celebrate his daughter's and Danny's birthdays. STILL haven't talked to James; he's apparently refusing to reply to my message. Probably because of Anna, the freaking c-ntnugget... I seriously loathe that sorry excuse for a human being.

I've got nothing better to do now. I've had 3 peanut butter cookies for breakfast, so I should probably eat REAL food at some point. Got a splitting headache forming at the base of my skull; if I leave it unchecked, it'll turn into a full-blown migraine. It's getting there, but I already took 800mg of ibuprofen, so I don't think I ought to take anymore quite yet. I will in a minute, though, only because I'm not in the mood for a migraine today. Too much to get done.

I need to get us packed for the weekend, and I still need to get Gizmo's daughter her birthday present. ... No, wait, I did get it, I just have to wrap it. That's right. :D Totally forgot I did that. I still have to pack, though that takes all of 5 minutes because I already pulled Danny's clothes out for him.

There are things for me to do, but nothing I want to do. Other than take a nap. But if I take a nap at this hour, it'll be very short; Danny should be waking up soon. Plus, if I nap, and Jordan IMs, I won't be able to reply because I'll be sleeping. Then I'll feel bad.

I'm way too sensitive to how others will feel about piddly things like that. I mean, fuck, I accidentally get all rude and stuff because I wasn't being sensitive, yet I get bent out of shape about not responding.

Ridiculous doesn't even begin to describe it.

Still feel like a total jackass, though.

Dammit, rawr. I seriously feel like shit about it. I should've known better. >_<

THIS IS WHY I CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Son of a biscuit. -_- I'm just gonna go over here and mope for a while.